fenster | THIS ISNT FINISHEDDDDDDDDDDDD

PLAYER INFO

Name: Riley
Contact Information: naizouefekt@twitter / flavors.me/zelos / summonfriends@skype
Time Zone: pacific/pst
Characters Played: nONE??? YET??? but... (haha) (sweats) (laughs nervously) (Welcome to Summoner's Rift!)

CHARACTER INFO

Character Name: Madotsuki
Character Canon: Yume Nikki

History:
A girl who has lived by herself in her quiet, quiet home, barely living off of her father's inheritance, for all 17 years of her life. If you asked her to recall the last time she left her house, let alone her room, you would most likely be met with a steady gaze which easily borderlined a glare and tell you that she doesn't know. She might just tell you that she doesn't want to know, either. If someone were to ever assume that she certainly is hiding at least a few things, and has a much more darker past than one might expect, then they would be entirely correct. Madotsuki's mind is, put simply, damaged. The neverending gnawing of her own mind's black teeth has corrupted it practically beyond repair. It only truly ever began when she began to hold a dream diary.

Highly interested in psychology, Madotsuki would constantly look into any research and experiments related to it. She loved psychology blogs, magazines, and the like, and reading all of these articles was mostly what she would do other than sit around and play video games, research cryptids and the naturally abnormal, as well as lurk on 2chan. Having read a few posts about dream diaries, Madotsuki decided to keep one for herself. She wrote down every single dream that she remembered, even if she hardly did, but if she couldn't remember her dream that night whatsoever, she'd simply write down reoccurring dreams, or dreams -- and nightmares -- that she had always remembered for whatever reason. It became a quick habit to write down every single dream. She'd throw her occasional thoughts in there as well. Eventually, Madotsuki came to remember practically every dream that she had. When she stared at the last page of her diary, she decided that simple 'dreaming' wasn't enough, and that she would look into the phenomenon of 'lucid dreaming'.

It did not take Madotsuki very long to accel at this, and before long she had found herself to the point where it had become simply natural to lucid dream. She would always keep her dream diary updated, and she never failed to lucid dream a single night. While this was appealing at first, just as soon as she had learned the art of it, she had become quickly tired of it. However, she was already far into an unbreakable habit -- no matter how hard she tried, Madotsuki could not go a night without lucid dreaming. Her body had accustomed itself to it.

She had never regretted something so much.

It did not take long for her dreams to go out of control. While she knew and understood that if she lucidly dreamt, she would be able to control and manipulate all of her dreams, yet her dreams began to act on their own. Her unconscious had easily taken over and did not allow her conscious itself to have its own free will when it came to the environment. She could manipulate it in some ways -- kill things, people, monsters, interact with them, stab them, collect things, and basically exist in a world that did not seem very much like it was a 'dream world' at all. Perhaps she would be okay with this world, simply visiting the relatively sane area that lay beyond the doors of the world's Nexus. She did not have to deal with anything if she did not want to, and perhaps she would be able to sleep in her own dreams, so for once, her mind could rest at last. Perhaps... Perhaps, if such awful and unpleasant memories weren't resurfaced by the world's existence in itself.

When something absolutely traumatic happens, you can never truly hope to suppress the memories in full. You may never be able to go a day without being reminded of that horrid event. Madotsuki is no exception to this. It was the first dye of poison set in her mind that was to forever haunt her, every single day. Perhaps not when she would wake up or go to sleep or every single moment, but just once or twice throughout the day, something may trigger the memory. Something may remind her of the horrible event that not only mentally trapped itself in Madotsuki, but within her physical body as well.

Her rape. She wanted to at least try and convince herself that she had forgotten the circumstances. That she had mostly flushed out every single moment, from the time before to during to the aftermath and having to deal with the pregnancy that she tried to hide desperately from everyone. She shut herself within her house, not long after her dad had committed suicide, and vowed to hardly, if ever, come out again. She did not want to see the light of day. She would not call an ambulance when the life form within her demanded to be set into the horrendous world that she herself loathed to experience every single day. She even wrote small notes in the dream diary, with shaky and terrified handwriting: I can feel it. I can feel it scratching the inside of my skin. It is very small. So is my stomach. I do not want it to grow anymore. If it's so small, why can I feel it? Why is it there? I want this to stop...

The miscarriage was nearly a miracle, even if the pain was not. She figured back pain would be normal. The weakness would be normal. She did not know much about pregnancies, and her hand quivered every single time she dared to even begin to type what was polluting her mind. The bleeding, she knew, was not supposed to be there. When it had covered the pads of her fingers, all the way across her hands, she didn't know what to do. She accidentally spread the blood everywhere, and it smelled awful. It made her stomach even more sick than it had been previously. Her legs severely cramped, her knees buckled, and she could not help but puke.

All the painkillers she had digested several times per day, most definitely many more than she should ever take during a 24 hour period, did not help as much as she could have wished for as long as she could have hoped. It would provide relief for some hours, and then she would have to take two more. As the days passed, three more, then four, then five. Each day she could never really feel it kicking. She could not feel it crawling within her, scraping at the interior of her stomach, reminding her of him, him, him.

She could have not searched faster when she was weak and shaking and far unwilling to vomit anymore. "What are the signs of a miscarriage?" she told the search systems, and Madotsuki was glad that her internet was fast enough to provide results practically immediately. Cramping. Vaginal bleeding. Fever. Weakness. The like. Her pupils dilated, and a large bead of sweat ran down her cheek, off her chin, and onto the desk, where it would be left to evaporate into the atmosphere.

The thing inside her was dead.

AU History:

Within at least every city lies some sort of corruption, for no matter how pure, how justice-filled the environment is, there is always some plague that will never be truly brushed off the alleys, the eventual cracks in the sidewalks never being truly fixed up. Madotsuki had always loathed the idea of going to school, especially with her father's far too regular absence from the apartment they lived in, and never truly saw the point. Upon waking up late one day and walking her way through the sunlight streets of Union, she had, out of the corner of her eye, spotted a small alleyway. Turning, she stared, reflecting. Yes, she had heard of this alley before. The one that, if you dashed through so you could hopefully avoid all the bad things even if it was simply manifestations of your own wild fears, you could take a shortcut to the school that she attended. Hesitating in front of the entrance, she looked left, and right, and behind her, and calmly walked into the slim space between the two buildings threatening to squeeze and crush and mutilate her, if they so wished, and did not run. She was in no hurry. The schools were far too high pressure, so even if she had the sinking feeling in her heart that she would get in far too much trouble for being just ten minutes late, she did not mind that time out of her morning spent anywhere but school.

And not unlike her canon counterpart, Madotsuki had suffered rape, and eventually survived a miscarriage in the first trimester of her pregnancy caused by it. From then on, she hardly ever went outside. Her father knew nothing of her rape nor pregnancy, as she'd never dare tell it to anyone, not even the stuffed cat she'd had since she was a small child, only choosing to confine it to her thoughts and her thoughts alone. As he left early in the morning and returned very late at night, it would only help her, ultimately, to hide the atrocity that she was during these months from any eye. He hardly looked up when she mentioned that she was not going to attend school anymore -- that he understood, because he knew how awful school could be, and he really didn't blame her. Even if he was never around, he truly did care about his daughter. That much she knew, even if, somehow, she could not feel it. Perhaps it was only because she had grown so hollow as compared to how she used to be. Though, she supposed, for a shut-in, it was only normal to feel this way.

Canon Personality:

Least said, Madotsuki is a quiet girl. Even when she was young, she never really spoke much, and would often use more physical gestures to ask a simple question, such as pointing to something and tilting her head to ask what it was. At first, in her dreams, she was naïve. She did not understand much of what she was experiencing, as she was unable to control the environment. Unbeknownst to her, at first, many dangerous things and beings lurked within her dreams. From this, even in the real world, she has come to trust nothing and no one. To her, everything is a threat, even if it's a mere, small and innocent animal. The animal could easily attack you if suddenly angered -- you did not know what you did, but this cute bird is now attempting to claw your eyes out. This is what Madotsuki will always expect out of anyone and anything.

To Madotsuki, she is not pessimistic. She is simply realistic. While she doesn't consider herself better than anyone else, she does realize that she may be able to take care of herself much better due to her extremely cautious and realistic nature. She will always weigh the two or more outcomes of something, realizing that there may be one in her favour, one not, and perhaps even unexpected ones. Having 'died' in her dreams so many times, she no longer is afraid of many things. If she were to have a gun pressed to her head, her natural fear reactions as a human being would occur, but even though her heart is prepared to tear itself out with how quickly it's beating, she would mostly remain calm and accept what was going to happen, even if she knew that there was no absolute outcome. To her, there is always more than one thing that can happen. For example, you may be successfully kicked in the shin. The greatest chance is that it will hurt. However, for whatever reason, it may also not hurt, be it from something blocking the kick -- such as a brace or ice -- to directly making it to your shin, or something else.

Because of how cautious she has come to be, Madotsuki always finds herself subconsciously taking extra measures to protect and prepare for herself for any situation. Within her apartment she usually has something hidden somewhere that can be used in self-defense or in emergencies -- flashlights, batteries, the like, and plenty of kitchen knives. She also keeps several blank notebooks under her bed in case she needs them (for more dream diary entries), though despite keeping these supplies with her, it would relieve much anxiety if she went out for once. Her balcony does not often do the trick; the fresh air and looking onto the mountains is nice, but behind her is still her bed, waiting for her to rest once more.

To say that she is scared of her own living space is hardly a lie in itself. She always has the underlying fear, the constant paranoia that accompanies her with every breath, every heartbeat, that her dreams will break from their supposed fictional world, tear right through the very thin silk border between dreams and reality, fiction and nonfiction, and greet her every waking moment, in its best and worst forms, in her own space. She has prepared steps at her balcony for this, though it can be for anything else. Her mind is far too lost by the constant horrors of her dreams and the constant reminders of her scarring past for her to be anything but carry an apathetic attitude towards the world, to live in constant depression and fear. If, one day, the border breaks, or if she is too sorrow- or fear-ridden to continue living, too tired of the endless nights which unnoticeably merge into days and back again, then she will climb the
three

simple

steps
and wait for whatever hell there is to claim her once more.

AU Deviation: Madotsuki in this universe does not differ much from her canon being. She, at least, seems to understand love and affection a bit more than her canon self because of her father actually being alive, and therefore has some more better communication skills than she would have in her own universe, despite her father working so much during the day. Having actually attended school for much longer than she would have in her original canon, she is definitely smarter and this also contributes to her better understanding of social skills. She is not as depressed as she possibly could be, though she is not far from her original state and could very well reach that level at any moment. However, her paranoia/cautious and realistic nature remains relatively the same, as does her apathetic attitude. Despite her inherited distrust of everyone and everything around her, she has come to trust all of her Pokemon to a considerable extent.

Canon Abilities: In her dreams, Madotsuki is able to collect up to 24 Effects. These Effects all have different, well, effects on her. An example of some is turning her head into a lamp from a lamppost or enabling her to undo her braids and let her hair down. A full list of the Effects can be found here.

Enlightened Abilities:

Madotsuki will carry the typing of Ghost/Steel, with the enhancement of the Mastery of Training. She emphasizes that they must be able to come in and out of any fight easily, and encourages her Pokemon to be strategic, smart and quick-thinking at all times.

(While your character will not have access to their canon abilities, they will instead gain access to up to two Pokémon types as outlined here: http://www.serebii.net/xy/typechart.shtml

Through these types, they will be able to take on an ability set that can mimic their canon abilities. Additionally, they will gain access to special trainer abilities as detailed here: http://bravenewmods.dreamwidth.org/715.html

While describing this section, a good format would be to describe initial abilities and the way the abilities will develop after the first and second evolutions.

If your character has no canon powers, they may still be an Enlightened. However, we ask that the abilities you choose generally make some sense for the character, whether it's related to personality or other canon considerations.

While complex vehicles are beyond the technology level of Union, characters may, as part of their overall composition, use Enhanced items that have aspects of an available Pokémon. A character may begin with a single Enhanced item, such as a sword that contains the Fire type. This is generally recommended to be similar to something they use in canon.)

Starter Pokémon: Litwick, female, named Nanmi (derived from Nahuatl nanmihcatzitzintin, meaning dead people / you).

Notes/Special Considerations:

shes got some aztec shit goin on
also psychological horrors galore
???
IM DEAD INSIDE
SAVE ME
PLAS
BANISH THE SHADOWS!!!!!!!!!!!

SAMPLES
(NOTE: You may link a previous entry or thread, including testrun or musebox threads (but NOT Dear Mun), for one or both samples. However, we want to see the character in the setting of Brave New World and specifically in their AU for at least one sample.)

First-Person: (Also known as “commentspam.” This is from the character’s perspective and helps us determine how well you grasp your character’s voice. The minimum is six sentences. If we deem that there is not enough spoken or written dialogue, we will ask you for more. If you link an outside entry or thread, the minimum is 10 comments from your character in one thread/with one character.)

Third-Person: hOPEFULLY this stupid blog will suffice